They say women can be sexual beings like men and I ask myself, really? How true can a woman actually fit in like a man in the sphere of sex? The thought of such possibility amazes and beats me. Perhaps to some warm extent, we hear of ladies asking the guys out. Like really is this a big deal and yes, it is. In this part of the world especially Africa, a woman somewhat checks out a portion of her value to ask a man out. Funny enough, the people who make this a big deal isn’t the men but the women. The African woman is one great threat to feminism. I hope I didn’t step on toes, guess I just did.
I advocate that women deserve and are entitle to the same measure of liberalism the men enjoy. One major reason why the African man won’t let the woman exploit is mainly because of sex and greatness. A real man draws a source of pride from the woman he loves and can call his own – the official girl. Even the rich envy the poor over a good wife. Unfortunately with this good feeling erupts insecurity. Insecurity of the fear of other men to partake in the social and sexual resources of the spouse.
Men are naturally jealous species especially when it comes to their women affairs. Yeah true, not only women are jealous. How we translate this feeling of jealousy into action is so different owing to firstly, our gender and then, temperament.
This spectrum of jealousy and insecurity in tune with a man’s somewhat dictatorial position exerts some authority which doesn’t protect his woman, stops her from living her life and achieving her goals. We can liken this to men who feel their wives mustn’t work rather run stores or boutiques so she doesn’t stray from her motherly duties which is a good intent but does it really end at this?
Most times it is beyond the surface; fear, insecurity and jealousy are the nucleus of this order. Some men deems it fit that they engage in sexual escapades and should be forgiven when caught because it isn’t just an excusable flaw but it is the nature of the man. So if a man can, why can’t do the woman. I don’t in any way support cheat but why can’t the woman make the mistake and just make it like the man? Some men don’t trust themselves enough to trust their woman. A guy once told me, girls will cheat and start catching feelings for the other guy unlike guys, we hit the spot and once we are done, we go back to our woman.
African marriage or relationship is a tale of when the man cheats, heaven will shower her mercies and when it is the woman’s, the fury of hell is flung out her gate. Some men don’t even want their spouse to wear attractive clothings and make up any longer after a long relationship to repel other men’s attention.
Imagine a girl with a first class degree in the course of her PhD halted her career because he would prefer her, a full-time housewife. And she actually succumbed – hell no! What a magnanimous waste of human resource! Like seriously, who does that?
Isn’t the African woman submissive to a fault or she is just being a good lover which she is. Women can do stupid things for a man even to her detriment. She has her name to protect, that she has a man is a great achievement in the society. She just wants a man she can call her own and show off. If she doesn’t have a man, she can’t be valued. It is worse when she is a successful career woman without a man, then she must have slept with older or rich men to have attained such height. Maybe she uses her riches to abuse and oppress men who come to woo her because she is a proud type.
We unconsciously tune a girl’s future into frequencies that makes her star bleak. I detest that in every thing we do for young girls, the ends is all in her husband’s house. If she can cook, how is she going to feed her husband; if she cannot do the laundry well, she going to have problem with her husband; if she surrounds herself more often with guys, she going to have trust issues with her husband. Is there anything a girl does that we don’t think about such value to her (unknown or even unborn) husband. The woman needs to start doing things for her good. If it is good then a good man will fit in which shouldn’t be an intent in the first place. Men and women need to live their lives and still yet, make their relationship work out fine.
And is this a reason why a man can get away with cheating and the woman hardly can. Maybe women need to stiffen up their emotions, get engage in sex like men and get off it like nothing happened. And will men fit into this kind of woman? Will the African man want the woman to step up her game and act like she is a man – in the sense that the only accountable difference between a man and a woman will become the sexual organs. Thus, it is only pertaining sex that you really can differentiate a man and a woman regarding exclusively the sexual organs – Kudos to kamasutra and multiple sexual positions.
Before a man points to the woman as a weaker vessel, we need to look inward and ask who are the weak vessels and why are they? Has anyone ever spoken about the weak vessel since we know much about the weaker vessel.